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My Player Journal from Yourself: A solo TTRPG

Yourself is a solo tabletop roleplaying game that explores belonging. The core themes focus on introspection, identity, and heritage. Players take on the role of someone who has just discovered that they are a Changeling among humans.

Through leading prompts matched with randomly drawn tarot cards, players navigate the changes of what being a Changeling and member of the fae means. From relationships to body adjustments to what the future holds, the game asks what it means to be Yourself.

What follows is the journal I created while playing the game. This is not a polished work.

Journal Background

Elly Feather (she/her) is an adult who has just discovered the truth about her origins — a member of the fae left her with her adoptive mother. Over the years, a wedge has found its way between Elly and her mother, and their rocky relationship continues to haunt her.

Human side: Justice Fae side: The Chariot

Act 1: Yourself in Reflection

The Empress: Motherhood, fertility, nature. 

I’ve always felt the need to be something more than human. Maybe it’s because I always was. At least now I don’t have to hide it.

My Mother and I have always had a strange relationship, as if we’ve never spoken the same language. Where she finds understanding, I find complexity. Conversation moves her, but I’ve always been pulled by the sway of the trees, some slow rhythm corded through my soul. Even in my reflection, I could see the thrum of something else, an other, thumbing at the fabric of my selfhood. 

In the moonlight, my skin has always had a soft sheen, a gentle glow. Hardly noticeable in most settings, but now the magic within seems so obvious. Even slightly, it’s not human.

Act 2: Yourself in Clarity

The Moon: unconscious, illusions, intuition.

Discovery is an expression of satisfaction but then more threads emerge and curiosity grows. I knew I never belonged with humans, and there is joy in knowing I was right. There is joy in knowing the truth. There is joy in breathing in a way I never have before, in hearing the rain sing, in dreaming of new realities. Shedding an illusion is powerful. I feel powerful.

Yet I still feel empty. Because while I never felt quite right in my skin, shedding the whole identity is difficult. I thought the knowing would fix my bonds with my Mother. We could share the same page, arrive at the same stop, but the gap feels wider and the more magic that flows within me, the further away she retreats. 

Act 3: Yourself in Relation

The Hermit: contemplation, search for truth, inner guidance.

I’m trying to find other Changelings. I’m tracing them through the flowers and weeds. Now that I own my whole self, I can translate the whisper of a shadow into a full path. I haven’t followed the trail yet, though I know it will lead to them. I find learning this way of navigation enough for now. It’s the only way I connect with my heritage, and that’s all I need. The connection is adequate. 

I can hear whispers that one of the fae wishes to meet me. The message is carried on the wings of bees and the realization of its transference startled me to the point that I’ve put off the meeting. But I’m on my way now. 

It’s my sister I’m meeting. She’s telling me that I’ve only just begun the transformation, and that soon there will be more changes, small at first. My hair will grow longer and more lush. My skin will turn bluer. And I will gain control. Control over what, I ask. You’ll see, she says.

Act 4: Yourself in Prospect

The Tower: sudden upheaval, broken pride, disaster.

I’ve redecorated my house. I’ve a new fondness for windchimes and the subtle scent of native wildflowers. I’ve moved furniture too, and now the wind can pass from room to room, whispering so many things as often as it pleases. When it washes over me in these halls, I feel at ease.

This peaceful feeling did not come easy. The bridge to my Mother has shattered. The pieces lie crumpled in a vast ravine, and she’s walked away. It feels like I must choose a new family or survive alone. And so I’ll devote myself to the other fae. My sister, while cryptic, is accepting. She marvels at my discoveries, guides my hand, and remains patient when I fumble, falling into old human habits. 

With her, I’m discovering who I am. 

Act 5: Yourself in Entirety 

The Tower

While these changes may be sudden, I have mourned who I never was and set them free. To be myself means releasing the bonds of those who would only see me as human. It means forgiving them for not being strong enough to understand. It means exploring the true magic further. 

To be myself means to listen to the wind sing.

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